I don't know what's changed, but Saturday I developed this sort of inner anxiety that just feels horrible. I'll try and describe it the best I can. I have a handle on what's coming as far as treatment, and I'm okay with it. So, it's not anything that's on the horizon that generally feels threatening to me. It feels like my heart is racing. It feels like I'm being overwhelmed with a feeling of dread. I get hot and then cold flashes, and my hands and body start to shake. I can't stop thinking about it, so that makes it worse. I've tried breathing exercises and whatnot, but no matter what I do, the feeling doesn't go away - until I discovered Ativan.
This morning I woke up feeling that way for the 2nd day in a row and decided to ask my nurses about it at my chemo session this morning. They suggested a higher dosage of Ativan. I had already been taking the drug for nausea, but it also has another positive side effect: it calms my body down. And it's so nice to feel without anxiety for the first time in a few days. The original dose my doctor had me on was .5mg every 12 hours. That's a very small dose and the nurses agreed, but understood that my doctors might not have been wanting to over-medicate me. So, I can take a higher dosage, and we'll be getting that officially cleared with my doctors probably tomorrow. This is by far my favorite drug now! Anything that helps me feel a little more normal - sign me up!
I have chemo the rest of the week through Thursday. Thankfully, there's no visit to Chicago this week though, so that's nice. Tomorrow's chemo is in Mishawaka for about half the day, maybe a little less.
More later.
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Monday, March 9, 2009
Day 46: Ativan to the Rescue
I don't know what's changed, but Saturday I developed this sort of inner anxiety that just feels horrible. I'll try and describe it the best I can. I have a handle on what's coming as far as treatment, and I'm okay with it. So, it's not anything that's on the horizon that generally feels threatening to me. It feels like my heart is racing. It feels like I'm being overwhelmed with a feeling of dread. I get hot and then cold flashes, and my hands and body start to shake. I can't stop thinking about it, so that makes it worse. I've tried breathing exercises and whatnot, but no matter what I do, the feeling doesn't go away - until I discovered Ativan.
This morning I woke up feeling that way for the 2nd day in a row and decided to ask my nurses about it at my chemo session this morning. They suggested a higher dosage of Ativan. I had already been taking the drug for nausea, but it also has another positive side effect: it calms my body down. And it's so nice to feel without anxiety for the first time in a few days. The original dose my doctor had me on was .5mg every 12 hours. That's a very small dose and the nurses agreed, but understood that my doctors might not have been wanting to over-medicate me. So, I can take a higher dosage, and we'll be getting that officially cleared with my doctors probably tomorrow. This is by far my favorite drug now! Anything that helps me feel a little more normal - sign me up!
I have chemo the rest of the week through Thursday. Thankfully, there's no visit to Chicago this week though, so that's nice. Tomorrow's chemo is in Mishawaka for about half the day, maybe a little less.
More later.
This morning I woke up feeling that way for the 2nd day in a row and decided to ask my nurses about it at my chemo session this morning. They suggested a higher dosage of Ativan. I had already been taking the drug for nausea, but it also has another positive side effect: it calms my body down. And it's so nice to feel without anxiety for the first time in a few days. The original dose my doctor had me on was .5mg every 12 hours. That's a very small dose and the nurses agreed, but understood that my doctors might not have been wanting to over-medicate me. So, I can take a higher dosage, and we'll be getting that officially cleared with my doctors probably tomorrow. This is by far my favorite drug now! Anything that helps me feel a little more normal - sign me up!
I have chemo the rest of the week through Thursday. Thankfully, there's no visit to Chicago this week though, so that's nice. Tomorrow's chemo is in Mishawaka for about half the day, maybe a little less.
More later.
2 comments:
sounds like the way to go to me! If you can stock pile that stuff to share after you are done with your treatment and transplant, that would be great! Just keep doing what you have been and this stuff will all be over soon :)
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I can identify with the hot/cold flashes and the feeling of dread so I'm thinking like prima donna....stockpile!! and of course,share. I'm so glad you asked for help and so glad you got it!
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sounds like the way to go to me! If you can stock pile that stuff to share after you are done with your treatment and transplant, that would be great! Just keep doing what you have been and this stuff will all be over soon :)
ReplyDeleteI can identify with the hot/cold flashes and the feeling of dread so I'm thinking like prima donna....stockpile!! and of course,share. I'm so glad you asked for help and so glad you got it!
ReplyDelete